My family through songs in Jon McLaughlin’s album “Indiana”

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“Just Give It Time”

Still waters, heavy hearts
Plans we make all fall apart
Disillusioned and lost in the gray
How can we fix the heart when it breaks?
Don’t know how much more you can take

Chorus:
Just give it time
It’s gonna get better
Now is not forever at all
Just give it time
Everything changes
Tomorrow comes today will be gone
Everything’s gonna be fine
Just give it time, give it time

Quiet landslide when nobody knows
Regretted decisions that nobody chose
Under water and sinking fast
No way out, no way to get back
What might have been is lost in the past

[Chorus]

When the world you’re in is still again
And it all fades out
You’ve reached the end, begin again now

[Chorus]

[2x]
Everything’s gonna be alright
Everything’s gonna be alright
Just give it time

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“Human”

Can you tell me how we got in this situation
I can’t seem to get you off my mind
All these ups and downs they
They trip up our good intentions
Nobody said this was an easy ride

After all, we’re only human
Always fighting what we’re feeling
Hurt instead of healing
After all we’re only human
Is there any other reason
Why we stay instead of leaving
After all

Can we get back to the point in this conversation
Where we saw things through each other’s eyes
Cause now all I see is ruin and devastation
We all need some place we can hide inside

After all, we’re only human
Always fighting what we’re feeling
Hurt instead of healing
After all we’re only human
Is there any other reason
Why we stay instead of leaving

I’m smart enough to know that life goes by
And it leaves a trail of broken hearts behind
If you feel I’m letting go, just give me time
I’ll come running to your side
Can you tell me how we got into this situation
I can’t seem to get you off my mind

After all, we’re only human
Always fighting what we’re feeling
Hurt instead of healing
After all we’re only human
Is there any other human [2x]

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“Praying to the Wrong god”

She don’t know you but she swear she knows your type
Got a mouth full of opinions and most are wrong
But they all sound right
And the ring around her finger is only there for make you
Wish you were the one for her

So I’m praying to keep me from breaking
From being another loser helpless at her side
And it’s crazy, it’s like no one can save me this time
She’s got me praying to the wrong god every night
Praying to the wrong god every night

There’s a reason no one knows her name
If she don’t tell you then she never has to change it
She’s allergic to “I Love Yous” and staying in one place
For too long
If you blink she’s gone

So I’m praying to keep me from breaking
From being another loser helpless at her side
And it’s crazy, it’s like no one can save me this time
She’s got me praying to the wrong god every night
Praying to the wrong god every night

Make her make me mean more
Or make her go away
Make her make me mean more
Or make her go away

I’m praying to keep me from breaking
From being another loser helpless at her side
And it’s crazy, like no one can save me this time
She’s got me praying to the wrong god every night
Praying to the wrong god every night
She’s got me praying to the wrong god every night…
(Every night)

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“Perfect”

I used to stare up into the sky,
and fill the space around with my whys
but now I’ve got it all figured out,
and I’m embarrassed that it took me till now,

The simple answers in her replies
Unlock the universe with her eyes,
She rips apart my world with her moves,
oh while stealing all the light in the room

(chorus)
And I found someone to walk me through this life
The brightest sun has opened up my eyes
Tonight I need exactly who she is
We’re going to be perfect

She can teach a melody to the birds,
and problem solving without a word
She can tell the richest man how to need,
Oh right after telling him about me

(Chorus)
And I found someone to walk me through this life
the brightest sun has opened up my eyes
Tonight I need exactly who she is
We’re going to be perfect

(Bridge)
and in my life,
if I can have one thing I don’t deserve
then I have never wanted anybody else but you

She can do no wrong in my mind,
so I take a seat while she takes her time,
’cause I am here forever I say,
so lock me up and throw the keys away

(Chorus)
’cause I found someone to walk me through this life
the brightest sun has opened up my eyes
tonight I need exactly who she is
we’re going to be perfect
perfect

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“Beautiful Disaster”

She loves her momma’s lemonade
Hates the sounds that goodbyes make
She prays one day she’ll find someone to need her
She swears there’s no difference between the lies and compliments
It’s all the same if everybody leaves her

And all the magazines tells her she’s not good enough
The pictures that she sees makes her cry

She would change everything, everything, just ask her
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home

She’s giving boys what they want
Trying to act so nonchalant
Afraid to see that she’s lost her direction
She never stays the same for long
Assuming that she’ll get it wrong
Perfect only in her imperfection

She’s not a drama queen
She doesn’t wanna feel this way
Only 17 and tired, yeah

She would change everything for happy ever after
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home

She’s just the way she is
But no one’s told her that’s okay

She would change everything, everything, just ask her
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster

She would change everything for happy ever after
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home
She just needs someone to take her home

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“Until You Got Love”

fourth floor,
lonely white leader,
sits there staring at the screen,
types in
can anybody tell me what it all means,
tick-tock waitin’ for an answer
it’s no use and all at once to her suprise,
she gets one reply,

until you got love,
you know you got nothin’,
your missin that somethin thats gonna set you free,
until you got love,
you’ll always be running,
love is that one thing that everybody needs,

sunday no one’s at the office,
just waitin at his fathers desk,
workin’ trying to fill the shoes that his dad left
‘dear son’ he finds in a letter: ‘please try your best to learn from my mistakes, you know work can wait’, until you got love,
you know you got nothin’,
your missin that somethin thats gonna set you free,
until you got love,
you’ll always be running,
love is that one thing that everybody needs,

there’s nothing cool in this room,
nothing new in what im sayin,
but sometimes the truth is what it is,
so why should i apologize for lookin for a better way to live,
way to live

(x2) until you got love,
you know you got nothin’,
your missin that somethin thats gonna set you free,
until you got love,
you’ll always be running,
love is that one thing that everybody needs

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Restart button stuck

Hi, it’s been a while since I’ve shown my face, so here:

Photo 92

You know how when your computer freezes, sometimes the only course of action left is to take a deep breath, cringe (or close your eyes, or both) and press (and hold) that power button with the index finger of your right hand? Well, I went home Tuesday evening to try and do that for myself – physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually…I needed a restart. Did it work? Not quite as I’d hoped, but if I stay w/this geeky computer metaphor, I’ll say I was able to do a sort of Ctrl+Alt+Del thingy to pull up the Task Manager and turn off a couple programs I had running in the background that’d been slowing down my system – not bad for about two days, eh? My brain feels too foggy to be aware of its current preoccupations at the moment I love what 10 hours of sleep will do for me.

You know, I’m really thankful that I have a home and a family and friends to escape to. And…I’m thankful to have burdens that I’m carrying with people I care about, even when it hurts incredibly somewhere deep down that I can’t access and have a good cry about. Well, except when I pray. Thank GOD for that! I might die without the occasional release of emotion~

God, where are You and what are You doing in my life?
Where are the fingerprints You’re leaving for them to find?
Will You show me a hint or two so I can lead them to to it?
Or would You have me just sit here in this morass with them and sigh?

I’m trusting Your presence is always with me
As I’m still running slow and hard after You
Your Word says You’ve been waiting there
Even when I don’t follow through
So I get my head out of the muck again
And realize who’s calling me “Child!” it’s You.

So I’ll run, run, run in the direction of Your heart
Remembering Your touches and the gaze I once held
I’ll carry my wounds, theirs, and Yours, if You desire
And when I finally find You, I’ll lay them down
Forevermore, and my heart will rise and swell.

My Lord, I rest now in Your arms tonight
and remember, sighing as I cry,
That You’ve always loved me
And at that, oh, so very well.

Books from last quarter I still need/want to read…

TOO CLOSE TOO SOON – Reed & Talley
next time i fall in love – chap clark
real SEX – Lauren Winners
Love & SEX: Cross-Cultural Perspectives – Hatfield & Rapson
Intercultural Competence – Lustig & Koster
Culture, Communication & Christianity – Charles Kraft

Currently reading:
Bonding across cultures (or something to that effect) – Brewster & Brewster
Streams of Living Water – Richard Foster
Glimpse of Jesus – Brennan Manning (Ah..Brennan is a part of my regular literary diet~!)

And my daily bread, though some days I settle for crumbs:
the Living Word – God.

Last night I was reading a passage in Luke 8 for my nightly devotion (with In Touch) and…as is another one of my habits, I kept reading right past the scheduled reading and was caught up by the Garderene Demoniac’s encounter w/Jesus. I think, for the first time in my life, I felt immense compassion (not quite empathy, although I’m tempted to say I’ve come close, but maybe my biblical counterpart might more accurately be Mary who had the 7 demons?) for the demoniac…there was something about his suffering that resounded in me last night…(maybe I was more sensitive b/c a few of us at Fuller watched a very moving Korean movie, “His Last Gift” last night, which elicited more than a few tears from almost all of us – ladies AND gents alike!) As I read and reread the details of this poor man’s actions and words, I really felt for him! And what was heart-wrenching for me was when he, finally freed of the legions of demons that had been causing him to be a social outcast and pretty much a crazy man, begged Jesus to take him along in the boat across the lake…but Jesus basically said, and everly so kindly, “No.” The former demoniac had much more important work to be doing…but I felt for the guy. He just wanted to be near his Savior and continue fellowship and healing w/the most loving, insightful, kind, and powerful man to ever have walked the earth. Can’t blame the guy, eh?

On the same token, Jesus left him there out of love…this man had to stay and tell everyone (at Jesus’ command/commissioning) about what the Son of God had done in order to CONTINUE AND COMPLETE HIS HEALING. (I wonder if this is written anywhere else…prolly, huh?) And it was the same w/the Samaritan woman and countless others. But as far as I can remember, not every single individual was commissioned like that. In fact, a couple of folks were asked not to say anything, no? Anyway…marvelous.

There is so much more than meets the eye in the Word. It’s too bad most of us are blind!

Sigh~ Man who once hosted a thousand or more demons…thank you for approaching Jesus the way you did. As broken as you were, you were still the first to greet Jesus as He stepped off the boat onto dry land. You recognized His divine nature, begged for His compassion, and obeyed His command…I hope to meet you in Heaven one day and talk about what it was like to live like that. I’m sure we’d find a thing or two in common.

And if I could, I’d write up a contemporary version of your story and either write or film it…

…someday.

**Currently VERY inspired and touched by Mosaic’s not-religious-as-possible-w/o-compromising-the-truth presentation of the gospel through song and word…adapting to the postmodern generation is very useful, I see!